April 6, 2012

Challenge #4 – Lessons from a Working Girl

Month #4 — April, 2012

While channel surfing on a gloomy Saturday, I recently came across the 1980s movie, Working Girl. I love this movie. If you’ve never seen it, I encourage you to rent a copy of it — it’s a great example of administrative ambition. If you’ve seen it before, you know what I’m talking about and know this is “our” movie and “our” story.

In short, actress Melanie Griffith plays Tess McGill, a Wall Street secretary that is driven to succeed and work her way out of her company’s typing pool. She is smart, determined, night-school educated, but no one takes her seriously with her big hair, short skirts, and clerical-laden resume. What ensues is, of course, a Hollywood plot that thickens: deception, love triangles, unethical behavior, demanding and arrogant bosses, humiliating requests, and ultimately a successful, happy ending for the girl from the typing pool.

Almost 25 years after its release, I still empathize with Tess McGill through a range of emotions: hope, frustration, insignificance, and the excitement of triumph. She was the working girl’s role model in 1988.

Like many others, I was a girl in a “typing pool” in the 1980s. At that time, I worked for a large consulting firm in Boston. Our typing pool, in the center of the office, was surrounded by plexiglass partitions. Because you could watch us work from many angles of the office, we referred to it as the “fishbowl.”

Due to the mundane nature of my work as a word processor (the newly-minted word for a typist who used a computer monitor in the 1980s), I remember feeling irrelevant and not as smart as my higher-level colleagues and those in management. Like Tess McGill, I imagined my associates and managers leading stress free, interesting lives, and enjoying their weekends in their beautiful suburban homes or trendy urban condos, while I wondered how I might pay that month’s rent. I remember the intrigue and envy I’d feel when confident young women, freshly arriving in the workplace with their new east coast college degrees, would eagerly take the first step on their career ladder. I’d assume that their path would somehow be much easier, and more glamorous, than my own. I now know that they had their own struggles too, but they were a few rungs higher on the organizational chart and from my perspective that placed them in a position of authority and advantage. Those of us in the typing pool knew our world was much different than those we supported. We lived and worked in Tess McGill’s world.

Please don’t get me wrong, I chose my career path and I’m proud of my accomplishments over the years. I’ve had many managers who believed in me, supported my growth, and treated me with respect and decency. I’m grateful for my grassroots experience, but I identify whole-heartedly with Tess McGill’s desire for opportunity and professional validation.

Here are the lessons that I’ve taken from the tenacious Tess McGill and I challenge you to think about some of these things in your own career:

Never Give Up on Your Dreams

Tess may have been invisible in the typing pool, but she took it upon herself to stay informed about the world of finance. She read newspapers, understood the stock market, and recognized opportunities for business mergers and acquisitions. She shared her ideas with anyone that would listen and eventually someone did — acknowledging her potential and giving her a chance to prove herself. What do you want for yourself and how hard are you willing to work to achieve it?

Identify What You Want or Need to Work On

Tess was regularly overlooked and dismissed when she sought promotions at her firm. As a result of the antics of the movie, she began to understand the importance image and presence have on credibility. As she transformed herself professionally, others began to treat her more professionally, and assumed that she held a position of responsibility within her firm. What do you want to change or improve upon in your own life?

Avoid Unethical Behaviors

Tess misrepresented herself and her position to others outside of the firm in which she worked. Her boss, played by Sigourney Weaver, took an idea presented by Tess and passed it off as her own business insight. Neither of them did the right thing and only created confusion and chaos for themselves. Although this behavior is what made the movie dramatic and charming, in the real-world this unsavory behavior would get you into serious trouble. How do you define ethical behavior and boundaries for yourself?

Settle into Yourself

Tess assumed a different persona as she was pretending to be someone she wasn’t. She conducted herself as if “in character” or on stage in much of the movie. Once Tess was hired by a new firm as a junior associate, she relaxed and adopted her own style and approach with others. Who is your authentic self and can you confidently be that person at work?

Don’t Forget Where You’ve Come From

Tess made it out of the typing pool and was provided an office in which to perform her new job as a fledgling financial analyst. It’s apparent when she sees her office for the first time that she is proud and feels she has finally “arrived.” It’s also apparent when she speaks to her new secretary for the first time, that she will not treat her secretary as she had been treated. Tess makes it clear that it will be a partnership and that “they will figure it out as they go along.” How will you stay connected to your administrative roots as your responsibilities expand and grow?

Tess McGill proved all things are possible regardless of your starting point in life. So, here’s to all you Working Girls (and guys) out there and may all your career ambitions come true.

Happy Administrative Professionals Day 2012!

____________________________________________________

Erin O’Hara Meyer, PHR, is President of Administrative Excellence, Inc., and the author of Administrative Excellence Revolutionizing Our Value in the Workplace. She performed “hands-on” administrative responsibilities and managed administrative teams for over 20 years. Human Resource responsibilities provided further expertise in staffing and recruiting, performance management, and employee relations. Contact Erin at erin@adminexcellence.com.

March 6, 2012

Challenge #3 – Shift Your Thinking

Month 3 – March, 2012

Sometimes blog topics become so apparent that I can’t help but begin typing right away. This is one of those times.

Early last week I received an email from a long-time friend and fellow IAAP (International Association of Administrative Professionals) member. She was following up on a previous conversation we had about current trends and attitudes in the workplace and was sharing her need (and struggle) to move from an attitude of “being perfect” to “getting things done.” This shift is being encouraged by her manager who believes that over-engineering is a common business practice and is no longer realistic in today’s under-sized workplace.

Over-engineering is a term described on Wikipedia as a product that is more robust or complicated than necessary. His point, in coaching his administrative partner, is that processes and procedures can also be more robust than necessary and that sometimes you have to know when to say, “It’s good enough.” This shift in thinking is driven by necessity to do more with less.

Two days after receiving and sharing thoughts with my friend, our local newspaper published an article with a similar message. This article focused specifically on women (and we know most admins happen to be women!). It shared the findings of a study showing that women who strive for perfection are more stressed and less content than women who can more easily accept the idea that “good enough is good enough.”

That same day, I received a call from another industry-related associate who coincidentally suggested, “You know, a good topic for your workshops might be the belief that admins have to be perfect. They put so much pressure on themselves.” This suggestion came out of the blue. She hadn’t seen the article in the newspaper, nor did she know that I already had this discussion earlier in the week. Boom – karmic intervention – a blog topic is born.

The very next day, at a meeting with a prospective client, this same sentiment was expressed again. Wham – the blog topic is reinforced!

It’s no surprise that perfectionist tendencies flow through the veins of most admins – male or female for that matter. It’s long been an implied performance expectation of administrative professionals. We are the ones who are expected to consider every last detail, produce high-quality, sharp and timely results, applying the Midas-touch to everything we do. Managers have come to expect it of us and we expect nothing less from ourselves. No wonder it’s a shift to think, “OK, that’s good enough. I need to move on to the next thing on my to-do list.”

There is, however, a sense of professional confidence and tell-tale experience in being able to decipher what parts of your job have to be detailed or perfect (i.e., spelling , contractual, or financial information, for example) as opposed to what can be deemed good enough and, therefore, consume less of your time and energy. My friend offered an example of travel itineraries. At times, she was providing far more information than her manager needed or found useful and she realized she could scale back in this one area of her job responsibilities without much consequence. The hurdle is letting go of your reluctance to let go.

Such a shift in thinking doesn’t mean we need to lower our standards or produce careless work. It means that we are astute enough to adapt to our environments and that we have enough understanding of our businesses, and the needs of management, to recognize opportunities to save time and, ultimately money, by prioritizing the degree of attention required of a task.

This serendipitous concept also partners nicely with the 2012 administrative challenge. Give yourself permission to be less than perfect. Make a list of those aspects of your job that have to be perfect and those aspects that can be done with a “good enough” attitude. Give your best to the things that matter most. You will not be cutting corners — you will be clarifying your focus and re-engineering expectations.

February 11, 2012

Challenge #2 — Stretching Your Comfort Zone

Last month, I announced that this year’s blogs will focus on monthly challenges to increase our workplace effectiveness and value. My intention is to set a goal for myself each month and then challenge you to set a related goal. I will also keep you updated on any successes (and the inevitable hurdles along the way). As I mentioned in January, even if you reach a portion of a goal, you are further ahead than if you’ve never set one at all.

Month 2 – February, 2012

It’s ironic that I happen to be watching The King’s Speech as I write this blog because this month I am writing about comfort zones and overcoming the fear of public speaking. If you’ve seen the movie, you know that King George VI struggled with a speech impediment and worked very hard to develop skills to speak more smoothly and comfortably in public.

Research shows that most of us have a fear of public speaking. But learning to speak confidently to a group of people (large or small) is one of the best ways to increase your professional credibility and expand your visibility. Quite simply, it’s important to everyone’s success to be able to influence others through impactful communication.

I’m like most people and can relate to a fear of public speaking (even though that is what I now do for a living!). Yes, after almost 10 years of giving speeches and facilitating workshops, I’m still nervous before I get started. However, I have learned a few tricks over the years that give me the confidence that I need to deliver and that’s what I want to share with you in this blog. Some of you may need to develop this same skill as your job changes or your responsibilities increase. You may not ever be in front of a group of hundreds, but you may at some point be asked to update your team on the status of a project or sell them on the benefits of a new process or software program. Communication is communication and public speaking isn’t just about speaking to the masses.

Here’s a basic outline that has helped me structure many presentations and gain confidence in my ability to share thoughts and ideas with others:

Tell them what you are going to tell them.

Have a strong opening which ties to the purpose of your presentation. Maybe it’s a question relating to the topic or a quote or a recent statistic, something that will capture the attention of your audience and help to get their thought process started. Then quickly summarize your main objective for speaking: “I’d like to focus on three things today…”

Tell them.

The body of your presentation should be filled with your most important information. Reinforce the value and the key points with personal stories or examples that bring your material to life for your audience. Stories are a great way to transfer knowledge in a memorable way. For example, a new process becomes much more interesting when they hear how it has helped you save time. Tell them “what’s in it for them” to make it meaningful and relevant.

Tell them what you told them. Wrap-up your presentation with a review of what you’ve talked about. This is a subtle way to help organize the information in the audience’s mind and remind them of what it is you would like to “leave them with.” Close with a powerful statement that also ties to your topic or intention. This can be accomplished with another quote, reflection, or a sincere plea that leaves a lasting impression of your message. Your ultimate goal is to get your audience to take action or to change a behavior or to further reflect. The last thing you say may be the first thing they remember from your presentation.

Of course, this is a very simple overview. To gain a skill, it takes time and practice. But a few key ingredients will help you design and deliver a presentation that has the potential to motivate and inspire your audience. With a few successes under your belt, you will have stretched your comfort zone and acquired a new skill. Maybe you aren’t ready to speak in front of a group, perhaps you challenge your own comfort zone by asking a question in a meeting, or having a conversation with someone that you find slightly intimidating. It doesn’t matter where you start, only that you push yourself a little bit each day. Your comfort zone will gradually expand the more you exercise it and increased confidence won’t be far behind!

You may be thinking how does this topic stretch my comfort zone since I am already a public speaker? Well, the next evolution for me in terms of public speaking is preparing to deliver two teleconferences this spring and summer. I was asked to do this a couple of years ago but “respectfully declined.” It was not something that I felt comfortable doing at that time. I received two recent requests to speak in this way and as I declared in my last blog, one of my goals this year is to find new ways to deliver Administrative Excellence expertise to my customers and clients. Since this is a completely different approach to addressing an audience, it not only meets that goal, but also stretches my own comfort zone by forcing me out-of-the-box and into the unknown.

Remember, the Administrative Challenge is as much for me as it is for you! How big or small is your own comfort zone and what are you willing to do to enlarge it? The boundaries of comfort zones are often times self-imposed. Look for your opportunities to stretch your self-confidence and by default, enrich your career.

January 10, 2012

The 2012 Administrative Challenge

At the beginning of each year I challenge myself with new ideas and goals to support the on-going development of my business and my own personal and professional growth.

This year, I’m going to try something new with this blog. We all know how fast a year goes, and how routine the minutia of moments and days can feel, so this year, I challenge you to challenge yourself along with me. Let’s have some fun and make our jobs more interesting and our lives more exciting. If you are like me, the ups and downs of a year make you realize that life is short and unpredictable. So, if not now, when? Each month, I’ll share goals or expectations that are part of my own commitment to growth and excellence and, if you feel so inspired, you can challenge yourself in a similar way.

Month 1 – January, 2012

I challenge you to set three substantial goals. Yes, I know I’ve blogged about goals before, but this time let’s not just think about goal setting — let’s get specific and write them down — and I encourage you to think BIG when you do. What would you most like to do or achieve this year or what have you always wanted to do, but never have? The bigger the goal the better! Why? Because if you set lofty goals, you stretch yourself, and accomplishing even a portion of the goal places you that much further ahead.

The thing about goals is if they are not written down, we don’t take them seriously or we lose sight of them pretty quickly. Goals require commitment. Otherwise they become vague actions we may or may not do “tomorrow.”

So here are three substantial goals I’ve set for myself this year:

Goal #1 — To write a second book. I’ve already decided on a title, developed a Table of Contents, and drafted a first chapter. Writing a book is a long, time- and thought-consuming process. My goal is to write one chapter a month and, word by word, be ready to publish in early 2013.

I remember reading once that Thomas Edison would announce a “new invention” to the public and then go home and invent it. This was his way of setting an expectation and sticking to it. Try it for yourself. If you really want to achieve something, let someone know. A good friend and confidant can help you stay motivated, and besides, it’s always more fun to plan and dream with someone else!

Goal #2 — To partner with a professional colleague and offer public workshops in the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. Presently, Angela Althoff of McNamara Recruiting Group and I have set a date of January 26^th for a two-hour presentation, and due to an overwhelming response we’ve already scheduled a second date in March. I am excited to team up with Angela who also shares a passion for and expertise in administrative staffing and training. Two heads are better than one and we promise a broad perspective on administrative success strategies. Who knows, perhaps one day we’ll come to a city near you!

Goal #3 — To explore new and different ways to offer Administrative Excellence expertise. Although I haven’t gotten this completely laid out in my mind, I’m considering alternative methods of delivering product and educational materials to you and your organizations.

That’s a lot — I’ve got my work cut out for me. A new year is a clean slate and a chance to rewrite or redefine your future. There is no limit to what your goals can be. What matters most is that you have goals to stay engaged, interested, and moving forward in life.

Think ahead to the end of the year. If you were to have accomplished something significant in 2012, what would it be? What would make you swell with pride or be considered a “bucket list” achievement? Challenge yourself, put your goals in writing, and let’s get going. Let’s all take a lesson from Thomas Edison and stop making excuses and start setting expectations…accomplishments are waiting.

December 14, 2011

Goals 2.0!

Another year is coming to an end. Where does the time go? It sounds trite to even ask, but we all wonder and most of us would nod our heads in agreement if we were talking about it over a cup of coffee.

It’s hard to believe that next month will mark the second anniversary of starting this blog. That doesn’t seem possible either. I remember sitting here at this very computer wondering where to begin – it was such a new endeavor for me – and it doesn’t seem that long ago!

So here we are again – another new year ahead – another blog to post. I launched this blog in January, 2010 with the topic of Goals. And I have since discovered it’s a topic that never seems to get old with admins. I remember for myself, as an admin, how easy it was to minimize my contribution and how hard it was to set goals that seemed significant in the big picture of organizational success. Many of you still find my website through internet searches for information about administrative goals and companies are beginning to ask for workshops to help admins prepare for annual reviews, goal setting, and general performance management. Even though I haven’t been a “hands on admin” for many years now, I think it’s safe to assume goal setting for admins is still a challenge and a timely and relevant topic.

When I first blogged about goals, I wrote about the importance of aligning your goals with your manager(s), team, and organizational goals. That is still the right approach (see blog archives: January, 2010), but let’s take it a few steps further this year and delve into specific areas where you can find opportunities to align your goals in meaningful ways:

VALUES Based Goals: Determine what’s most important to your manager, team, and organization. Is it customer service, quality work products, attention to detail, ethical behavior? What does your company’s mission statement promote?

Values are the ingredients of organizational culture. They’re easy to attach to and will hopefully instill a sense of pride in demonstrating. Determine which values are also important to you in relation to your manager, team, organization and commit to exhibiting those values throughout the year. When you focus in on values, you’ll be doing your part in helping to define the tone and the personality of the organization.

OBJECTIVES Based Goals: What does your manager(s), team, and organization expect to accomplish this year? If you’re not sure, ask. Asking shows you are interested and engaged. Once you know the answer, find ways that you can directly contribute to the end result. You may have to stretch your thinking, but your job is to support your managers and team’s success. What pieces of their objectives can you help them achieve and how will you do it?

PERFORMANCE Based Goals: Ask yourself, “What can I do this year to be a better assistant?” Or, “How can I further excel at my job?” When you think in terms of performance based goals, you think about pushing yourself to be better. Maybe you become more proficient with a computer program, or find ways to save time or money, or learn to present in front of a group, or assert yourself with your manager to help him or her become more efficient and productive. The list is endless and specific to you, your strengths, your environment, and your desires for growth.

RESPONSIBILITY Based Goals: These goals pertain to the work that is expected of you and delegated to you. In other words, “What projects are you responsible for? What do you need to do to get them done?” This is where many admins focus their attention when it comes to goal setting and why we often times see our goals as a list of smaller or seemingly routine items. When we focus our view on tasks only, we risk our perspective becoming myopic and concentrated. However, with that said, it is important that specific responsibilities are a part of your planning, goal setting, and achievement process – just don’t let them limit you in terms of greater connection to the larger role you play.

PERSONAL Based Goals: These are goals just for you. What do you want to do for yourself this year? Maybe these are related to your professional life in some way (like going back to school) or maybe they are something completely outside the scope of your career (like learning to play the piano). It doesn’t matter. What matters is that a well-rounded individual is a well-adjusted employee. When we have balance and enjoyment in our life, we are more likely to feel confident and fulfilled in all areas of our life. We are one person – personally and professionally.

When it’s time to set your goals this year, relax and look for your opportunities in these ways and impress your manager with a broad, well-intentioned plan. Happy Holidays and a successful new year to you!

November 22, 2011

Thanksgiving

In the aftermath of Hurricane Irene, I recently started a personal blog to keep my extended family and friends updated on the restoration of our family home and the progress of our town since the devastating flood in late August (October, 2011 post). With November being the month of Thanksgiving, it seemed timely to focus the topic of that blog on gratitude and appreciation in spite of Irene’s impact.

While thinking about this blog, on behalf of Administrative Excellence, I realized the sentiment of thanksgiving applies professionally as well as personally. And, therefore, want to take time to give thanks to all of you that read this blog and share its contents with coworkers, provide feedback, and continue to support me and my business in this way.

I also want to thank each of you who have attended my workshops, invited me into your organizations or IAAP chapters, and given me a breadth of opportunity and experiences in the past nine years since starting my business. Learning is a two way street and I have learned from each and every one of you as well. I am always inspired by the amount of enthusiasm and intelligence that surfaces in our sessions – not to mention the humor, shared experiences, heartfelt understanding and empathy for each other’s challenges, and sincere excitement for each other’s accomplishments.

When I began the journey of launching my own business, I never imagined where it might lead. I wasn’t sure if I would even be in business within a year, let alone almost a decade later – I owe that milestone to you. I am humbled that so many of you find value in my work and pay it forward through your own professional growth, by creating and championing your own in-house development programs and plans, and by using my book as a basis for on-going leadership discussion groups and as a catalyst for further thought and application. We really are revolutionizing our value in the workplace – one admin at a time – one organization at a time – but together as a profession.

I am also fortunate that my business has weathered the economic storm in the past few years and that I’m able to attract the interest and confidence of new clients and have earned the respect of repeat business with many existing clients and educational institutions – some of you becoming trusted friends, mentors, and valued professional associates. Many of you have pushed me to new heights by asking me to develop new material or to consider new and different ways of presenting curriculum. Innovation forces me to grow and step out of my comfort zone too and for that, I’m deeply appreciative.

I have much to be grateful for and yet more to learn and accomplish in life. I hope that I’ll be able to continue to meet your needs and expectations as we continue down this path of personal and professional growth and development.

Hurricane Irene put life in perspective very quickly. It’s challenged me to think about things that are often taken for granted in the day-to-day business of living – I hope each of you will take a minute to do the same this Thanksgiving. Don’t wait for a disaster to count your blessings.

Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving and happy holiday season.

October 3, 2011

It’s Not a Catastrophe Until It Is…

On August 28, 2011 Hurricane Irene turned inland from the northeastern coastal cities sparing heavily populated areas from anticipated large-scale flooding and devastation. Instead, her unusual and unexpected diversion sent her into the mountain communities of upstate New York and directly over my hometown of Prattsville, New York.

Prattsville is a community of 700 people nestled in the Catskill Mountains about two hours north of New York City and about an hour south of Albany. On quiet days, the Schoharie, Batavia Kill, and other creeks meander their way through the Catskills and provide tranquil backdrops to rural mountain-top towns.

August 28^th was different. Irene’s fury and force delivered, by some reports, 16 inches of rain to already waterlogged mountain peaks and sent water cascading at unprecedented volumes and speeds into the streams below — destroying almost everything in its path. The Town of Prattsville is said to be ground zero of Irene’s destruction. Homes and businesses were quickly destroyed – some washed away (including our family business) – many others knocked off their foundations or toppled when the ground gave way underneath them. Others, including our family home, held strong but were severely damaged by 3-4’ feet of water in the interior and their contents ruined by the thick, filthy mud left behind. Beautiful natural landscapes were reduced to rubble and bridges and roads gave way.

Thankfully, no one in our immediate community was killed or injured, but lives were changed forever. Fifty homes out of a mile-long Main Street are condemned and vacant land and abandoned properties, waiting for the wrecking ball, now remind town residents of all that was lost.

My intention is not to focus on what happened, but to focus on the good that is coming from such an unimaginable event. I was home in New York for the better part of September. I arrived in Prattsville five days after the flood and was astonished and saddened by what I saw. It’s a surreal experience to be greeted by the National Guard upon entering your town. Bracelets were needed to prove you were a resident and had reason to be in town – this, of course, was for our protection and no one questioned it – we were grateful that someone was looking out for us.

In the days that followed, we became even more grateful. Scores of volunteers showed up with shovels in hand and assigned themselves to physically hard and disgusting work. Gutting houses and mucking basements – putting their own lives and health at risk to help strangers in dire need. Because of their efforts, many properties are now salvageable and ready to be restored.

In a weird way, it was an exciting experience. FEMA, The Red Cross, and other national organizations set up shop in the middle of town. State and federal officials toured the area on a regular basis – helicopters hovered overhead. Meals, clothing, and cleaning supplies were readily available. Journalists stopped and asked people for quotes for the New York Times, The Albany Times Union, and beyond. CNN was on-location and interviewed family and friends for breaking news stories. Unreal to say the least – until Hurricane Irene made us famous for a couple of days — few had ever heard of Prattsville, New York.

I saw classmates, teachers, and others I had grown up with, but had not seen in years. I made new friends with others that have moved to town after I moved away. Everyone was there to help their town in any way they could. We congregated for church services, breakfast, lunch, dinner and town meetings. We came together as a community with strength and determination that we perhaps never had before, or at the very least, were losing along the way.

We all know it’s a long road back, but Prattsville will be back. It will look different, but I believe it will also feel different. We are now bonded by a common experience and take pride in our ability to move forward and rebuild our town.

I believe that life offers lessons and the lesson I learned from Hurricane Irene is, “It’s not a catastrophe until it is – don’t sweat the small stuff.” Irene’s rath was a hard way to learn a valuable lesson. My thoughts and prayers to all of you who were in her path.

The attached video was created for a mountain-top fundraiser held in Albany, New York on 9/23/11. The footage is from several affected areas, but much of it was filmed in Prattsville.

August 17, 2011

EQ2

In mathematics a squared number means to the 2^nd power or multiplied times its own value. In the case of the title of this blog EQ²refers to the striking similarities between the fundamental principles of business etiquette and emotional intelligence (also known as EQ).

Since starting this blog in January, 2010, you may have noticed that I wait to write and publish a blog when a topic “pops” to mind, rather than post daily updates or weekly notices. I hope that this strategy supports ideas and information useful in your career development plans.

This particular topic came to mind while on a recent flight to Houston. As I was reviewing materials for two upcoming classes: one on business etiquette and the other on emotional intelligence, I began to realize how much these two seemingly diverse concentrations have in common. Something I had never considered until I began to delve further into the practice and application of each one.

Emily Post, the matriarch of American etiquette, defined etiquette like this: “Whenever two people come together and their behavior affects one another, you have etiquette. Etiquette is not some rigid code of manners, it is simply how peoples’ lives touch one another.”

Emotional Intelligence, sometimes referred to as interpersonal intelligence, can be described as the keen awareness of one’s own emotions and the emotions of others. People with high emotional intelligence possess an ability to work effectively with others because they are adept at managing and understanding their own behavior as well as tuning into the needs, concerns, and reactions of other people. People with emotional intelligence not only rely on “book smart” knowledge, but “heart smart” connectivity.

Emotional Intelligence focuses in on four tenets of personal insight and ability: self-awareness (how your emotions affect your actions, knowing your strengths and weaknesses), self-management (the ability to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, take personal responsibility and accountability, and adapt to changing circumstances), social awareness (ability to recognize emotional cues, understand power structures and dynamics, and demonstrate ease and comfort in social situations), and relationship management (the ability to develop and maintain good relationships, manage conflict, inspire and build trust, and to work effectively in teams). Each of these traits requires thoughtful and considerate behavior, core philosophies of etiquette.

The following three points are at the heart of the Emily Post Institute’s views on etiquette:

Think before you act – A moment of consideration or self-reflection may save you from inflaming a situation, embarrassing yourself, or insulting someone else.

Make Choices that Build Relationships – Interact with others in a respectful way that preserves the dignity and integrity of both the situation and the people involved.

Do it sincerely – Whatever you choose to do, do it for the right reasons. Are you trying to solve a problem or prove a point? Humble, honest intentions are usually better received than superior attitudes and personal agendas.

When I attended the Emily Post Institute’s Train-the-Trainer program to teach business etiquette, I remember Mr. Post, Emily Post’s great-grandson, saying “the goal of etiquette should be to avoid an apology.” I love the simplicity of that statement and, yet, as a human being I realize how challenging this can be. We live in a fast-paced world. We react quickly, impulsively, emotionally, and often instinctively. Perhaps another true hallmark of etiquette is not only knowing when an “I’m sorry” is warranted, but to have the courage to say it – admitting to and owning your behavior or actions.

Whether you want to call it etiquette or emotional intelligence, if you understand and apply common courtesy, respect yourself and others, and act in a civil and deliberate way, you are EQ-squared and doubly powerful in your interactions with others!

June 20, 2011

Life Happens…

My apologies for the delay in posting this month’s blog. Many of you check-in regularly and I’ve felt badly you weren’t finding updated information.

On May 21^st I fell of off my horse and dislocated and fractured my right elbow – a plate and five pins later, I’m on the mend. As luck would have it, I am right handed, so the first couple of weeks I was severely limited in my use and abilities. I’m still fairly limited in my range of motion, but I’m gaining strength and movement every day. It’s actually motivating to set a new goal each day (sometimes for just the little things in life like buttoning the top button, eating with my right hand, blow drying my hair, and of course, typing – small things I took for granted only a month ago), and be able to physically see and measure my progress.

I rode horses as a kid growing up in rural upstate New York and off and on again as a young adult when I moved to Minnesota. Three years ago I decided to take up riding once again by taking lessons at a local stable. This time I was hooked and I bought my own horse, Vanna, last June. She is a beautiful, 5 year old, ¾ Friesian. She is young and I’m an “emerging” rider on a young horse — so we are learning together, but she is sweet with all the characteristics of becoming a good, willing companion and I’m determined. I’m confident that we will become a great team, in spite of our recent mishap.

I’m going to keep this post short, but I can say that when things like this happen they are a good reminder that life is not always easy or goes as planned. You know that as well as I do. I didn’t expect to end up in the emergency room on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, but I did. In the big scheme of things this was a minor set-back. My injuries could have been much worse or permanent, and for that I am fortunate. I still love my horse and I love the challenge of riding a horse.

My accident has also been a good reminder for me of how important a positive attitude is when things don’t go as expected. I can’t say I am glad this happened to me, but it has now given me perspective that I didn’t have before in learning to ride a young horse. I can now say that I’m a “more experienced” rider than I was before and I have the scar and hardware to prove it! I’ve read that “experience is something you don’t have when you need it.” I couldn’t agree more…the next time I’ll use better judgment and listen to my horse when she “tells” me she is getting frustrated and tired of repetitive exercises. I’ll control the situation before she has a chance to startle with such power and enthusiasm. Accidents are always much clearer in hindsight, but these are all good lessons that I can apply in many different aspects of my life.

Most of us know the expression, “you need to get back on the horse” and get on with it – so I will and I am. On June 8^th I was able to travel to New York and present a full day of workshops and the next month is filled with more travel and new opportunities. Life goes on. As one friend said to me, “at least you are willing to take risks in your life and do things like riding a horse.” She’s right, without some risks, life might seem monotonous. Even though I celebrate a milestone birthday this month, I’m not ready for monotony, although I could pass on the broken bones!

Wishing you all a safe and healthy summer – and to be careful — life happens. And, whatever your “horse” is in life, I wish you luck, courage, and perseverance in getting back on and getting on with it.

May 3, 2011

A Universal Language

My training and consulting services have provided opportunities for me to partner with administrative professionals in many parts of the world. Since launching my business in 2003, I have been fortunate to present workshops in South Africa, China, Thailand, and Istanbul, Turkey. These were regional training initiatives for a large international organization. Each event included numerous admins from the host country as well as neighboring country offices and was rich in diversity, but fascinatingly common in outlook and expectation.

These global opportunities were a deeply rewarding experience for me. Not only did I get to enjoy the beauty and hospitality of exotic countries, I got to meet amazing admins and learn about their lives, their cultures, and their working environments. This insight has helped me to understand that regardless of our countries of origin – whether the United States or abroad – as administrative professionals we share common goals, values, and desires in performing our jobs.

A client recently asked me about these experiences. That question and our discussion prompted me to write this blog. Although I am not a cultural diversity expert, these experiences did broaden my perspective and provide a platform for thought and observation.

Yes, as administrative professionals we have differences. Many countries and regions of the world have social norms which place strong emphasis on hierarchy, position, and title. In such environments, it’s realistic to assume that admins adhere to protocol and respect their place in the organizational structure by responding to specific instruction and direction. However, these cultures exist in organizations all over the world and make the placement, ranking, and traditional expectations of administrative professionals familiar to many of us.

My goal in this blog is not to talk about our different world or political views or the restrictions that may be placed on admins in these types of cultures and environments, but to share our commonalities and the threads that bind us as a profession around the world.

What I found most interesting and more prevalent in these experiences is our similarities. And here’s where I’ve discovered we share distinct commonality – we all want to be respected, appreciated, and to know that our contributions matter — we all strive to do our best at the work we are paid to do. I have found this to be true whether teaching classes in Chicago, Illinois or Chengdu, China – Houston, Texas or Hua Hin, Thailand. Admins who are serious about their careers share enthusiasm for their work, excitement for learning, and a passion and drive to excel. I’m sure many of you have witnessed the same thing if you’ve ever attended an IAAP (International Association of Administrative Professionals) International Convention. The place of our birth or address of our office is irrelevant when it comes to ideals about career growth and professional development. In this regard, admins around the world speak a universal language.

I remember facilitating one of these international workshops when an admin from a Latin American country expressed her surprise when I mentioned that many American admins also struggled with feelings of disempowerment and finding a voice in their workplaces. She assumed that the feminist movement of the 1970s made everything easier for women in general, and subsequently, for admins* in the U.S. today. She is right, in America “we’ve come a long way” in the past 40 years, but there are miles of opportunity ahead to strengthen our voice and shatter existing stereotypes.

When I published my book, Administrative Excellence: Revolutionizing Our Value in the Workplace in 2005, my thoughts pertaining to administrative leadership, empowerment, and growth were limited to those of us working in the United States. Several years later, after partnering with admins throughout the world, I now see that our collective professional voice and contribution is much larger and more impactful than I ever imagined. We are millions strong and, each day, we make a difference in our organizations by producing quality work, teaming and building relationships, pushing our comfort zones, and embracing our common desires for success and achievement.

In 2005 I concluded my book with the statement, “One by one we make a difference. Together we make an impact!” I still believe that whole-heartedly. However, six years later I would alter and add to that sentiment by saying, “One by one we make a difference. Together we have a far-reaching impact!”

Far and wide we are proud of what we do – many people and perspectives – one unified profession.

*Note: The majority of admins remain female in today’s workplace. I do not mean to overlook the valuable contributions of our male colleagues, but to speak to the majority of readers, and to frame my thoughts in the historical context of women in the workplace.